My Sister Is a Creep

Janet, my sister, made a weird crazy house and tricked me into thinking it was a spa.

pic: On the door - A note saying "Nice Surprise - This way" 

I opened the door - there is a sheet hanging and a chair and a music box with a note saying "A nice spa awaits you."

My two sisters lead me into a walk in closet. There is hairspray on the floor and two flashlights. I can see movement behind the hanging clothes, and begin to suspect something:

pic of amelia saying"This better really be a spa."

Pic of JAnet saying"Oh no, it isn't." 

And she flips off the light.

And turns the flashlight on strobe. By now, I'm annoyed and kind of creeped out. Janet puts her hair up crazy and acts insane like she wants to kill me. This goes on for a while.

pic of that last scene. 

Then my younger sister (Ellen) jumps out of the clothes and screams "RAWR!" with the strobe flashing through her hair.


pic of that. make ellen's posture (on all fours, the strobelite's behind her) look like a tiger. BIG TEETH and a wide open mouth = perfect

And they attacked me.


pic of them dogpiling me like hyenas jumping on a dead zebra.

Escaping the violent dog pile, I go for the door, but Janet blocks it. Then she seemingly changes her mind and opens it, and says, "Here's the best part." And leads me under the sheet into the bathroom, upon which Ellen closes and locks the door.

pic of Janet screaming: "Die Ellen! Die!"

Ellen falls over "dead"

pic of ellen on the ground dead

Janet proceeds to act insane. She simultaneously flushes the toilet and turns on the two taps, saying "DIE DIE!"
 
pic of amelia saying"OK, Guys, I've had enough. You're creeps." Janet and ellen are acting like they are murdering each other in the background.

All I got was a "Mwahahaha!"
 
They let me out and Ellen said, nicely, "Lay down on that white blanket."

pic of me relaxing ona thick white blanckte

I don't know why I did.

They wrapped me up and started attacking me and jumping on me

pic of me under the blancket screaming, "This isn't funny! You guys better stop!" while they pound me

I flipped Janet under the blanket and pinned her

pic of me pinning her while she screams, HELP ME ELLEN! GET HER

Ellen then attacks me with tickles. I make a break for it.

pic of me running to the door

Janet and Ellie pursue, Janet screaming, yah, you better run! Get out!

I sprint downstairs.

pic of: Ellen comes up and says, we want to do a real spa now, to say we're sorry.

Nope. Not falling for it.

What would you do? Leave a comment and tell me!

- Amelia

And now for something completely different.

Atheists vs. Christians: Who's right?

Take time to read this. It's really interesting. I didn't write it, but found it on this phenomenal blog:  

http://everybodyloveskrissy.blogspot.com

I know this isn't a regular thing, posting something that isn't even remotely funny and doesn't come close to having an illustration, but it's an exceptional piece of writing. I've never seen anything that makes me think so much.

Oh, and any grammar and/or spelling mistakes aren't mine. (Sorry, Krissy! Love you anyway!). (:

~ ~ ~

A science professor begins his school year with a lecture to the students, "Let me explain the problem science has with religion." The atheist professor of philosophy pauses before his class and then asks one of his new students to stand.

"You're a Christian, aren't you, son?"

"Yes sir," the student says.

"So you believe in God?"

"Absolutely."

"Is God good?"

"Sure! God's good."

"Is God all-powerful? Can God do anything?"

"Yes."

"Are you good or evil?"

"The Bible says I'm evil."

The professor grins knowingly. "Aha! The Bible!" He considers for a moment. "Here's one for you. Let's say there's a sick person over here and you can cure him. You can do it. Would you help him? Would you try?"

"Yes sir, I would."

"So you're good...!"

"I wouldn't say that."

"But why not say that? You'd help a sick and maimed person if you could. Most of us would if we could. But God doesn't."

The student does not answer, so the professor continues. "He doesn't, does he? My brother was a Christian who died of cancer, even though he prayed to Jesus to heal him. How is this Jesus good? Hmmm? Can you answer that one?"

The student remains silent.

"No, you can't, can you?" the professor says. He takes a sip of water from a glass on his desk to give the student time to relax.

"Let's start again, young fella. Is God good?"

"Er...yes," the student says.

"Is Satan good?"

The student doesn't hesitate on this one. "No."

"Then where does Satan come from?"

The student falters. "From God"

"That's right. God made Satan, didn't he? Tell me, son. Is there evil in this world?"

"Yes, sir."

"Evil's everywhere, isn't it? And God did make everything, correct?"

"Yes."

"So who created evil?" The professor continued, "If God created everything, then God created evil, since evil exists, and according to the principle that our works define who we are, then God is evil."

Again, the student has no answer. "Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things, do they exist in this world?"

The student squirms on his feet. "Yes."

"So who created them?"

The student does not answer again, so the professor repeats his question. "Who created them?" There is still no answer. Suddenly the lecturer breaks away to pace in front of the classroom. The class is mesmerized. "Tell me," he continues onto another student. "Do you believe in Jesus Christ, son?"

The student's voice betrays him and cracks. "Yes, professor, I do."

The old man stops pacing. "Science says you have five senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Have you ever seen Jesus?"

"No sir. I've never seen Him."

"Then tell us if you've ever heard your Jesus?"

"No, sir, I have not."

"Have you ever felt your Jesus, tasted your Jesus or smelt your Jesus? Have you ever had any sensory perception of Jesus Christ, or God for that matter?"

"No, sir, I'm afraid I haven't."

"Yet you still believe in him?"

"Yes."

"According to the rules of empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your God doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son?"

"Nothing," the student replies. "I only have my faith."

"Yes, faith," the professor repeats. "And that is the problem science has with God. There is no evidence, only faith."

The student stands quietly for a moment, before asking a question of His own. "Professor, is there such thing as heat?"

"Yes," the professor replies. "There's heat."

"And is there such a thing as cold?"

"Yes, son, there's cold too."

"No sir, there isn't."

The professor turns to face the student, obviously interested. The room suddenly becomes very quiet. The student begins to explain. "You can have lots of heat, even more heat, super-heat, mega-heat, unlimited heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat, but we don't have anything called 'cold'. We can hit up to 458 degrees below zero, which is no heat, but we can't go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold; otherwise we would be able to go colder than the lowest -458 degrees."

"Everybody or object is susceptible to study when it has or transmits energy, and heat is what makes a body or matter have or transmit energy. Absolute zero (-458 F) is the total absence of heat. You see, sir, cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat we can measure in thermal units because heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it."

Silence across the room. A pen drops somewhere in the classroom, sounding like a hammer.

"What about darkness, professor. Is there such a thing as darkness?"

"Yes," the professor replies without hesitation. "What is night if it isn't darkness?"

"You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is not something; it is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light, but if you have no light constantly you have nothing and it's called darkness, isn't it? That's the meaning we use to define the word."

"In reality, darkness isn't. If it were, you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn't you?"

The professor begins to smile at the student in front of him. This will be a good semester. "So what point are you making, young man?"

"Yes, professor. My point is, your philosophical premise is flawed to start with, and so your conclusion must also be flawed."

The professor's face cannot hide his surprise this time. "Flawed? Can you explain how?"

"You are working on the premise of duality," the student explains. "You argue that there is life and then there's death; a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something infinite, something we can measure. Sir, science can't even explain a thought."

"It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life, just the absence of it."

"Now tell me, professor. Do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?"

"If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, young man, yes, of course I do."

"Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?"

The professor begins to shake his head, still smiling, as he realizes where the argument is going. A very good semester, indeed.

"Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you now not a scientist, but a preacher?"

The class is in uproar. The student remains silent until the commotion has subsided.

"To continue the point you were making earlier to the other student, let me give you an example of what I mean."

The student looks around the room. "Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the professor's brain?" The class breaks out into laughter.

"Is there anyone here who has ever heard the professor's brain, felt the professor's brain, touched or smelt the professor's brain? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, science says that you have no brain, with all due respect, sir."

"So if science says you have no brain, how can we trust your lectures, sir?"

Now the room is silent. The professor just stares at the student, his face unreadable.

Finally, after what seems an eternity, the old man answers. "I guess you'll have to take them on faith."

"Now, you accept that there is faith, and, in fact, faith exists with life," the student continues. "Now, sir, is there such a thing as evil?"

Now uncertain, the professor responds, "Of course, there is. We see it every day. It is in the daily example of man's inhumanity to man. It is in the multitude of crime and violence everywhere in the world. These manifestations are nothing else but evil."

To this the student replied, "Evil does not exist sir, or at least it does not exist unto itself. Evil is simply the absence of God. It is just like darkness and cold, a word that man has created to describe the absence of God. God did not create evil. Evil is the result of what happens when man does not have God's love present in his heart. It's like the cold that comes when there is no heat or the darkness that comes when there is no light."

The professor sat down. This was going to be a very interesting year, indeed.

 ~ ~ ~

Well, What do you think? Leave me a comment.

Bullies: A big deal

In school, we had a assembly to discuss the gravity of bullying.


Meet our host, Assembly Man.


I disagreed with everything Assembly Man said. The only way he could get us to listen was by doing magic tricks.

                                                                                    

 Assembly Man: Tattle if you see bullies! They will be forced to stop by being suspended!

My reasoning: The bullies will be mad at you. They will target you.


Assembly Man: Stand up to bullies! They will leave you alone!

My reasoning: Good luck being that brave.

Assembly Man: The bullies need witnesses and a victim to get pleasure out of making others feel small!
(Here was his amazing analogy:)

Don't be the oxygen for the bully! Don't wait around! Stand up for the victim!

My reasoning: They are telling you: you are a plant if you don't tell. Plants just sit there, and omit O2.

Joe (My dad): If you are being bullied, beat 'dem bullies up. They won't touch you again!


My reasoning: Yup. That'll work.

Just remember those (the one tip by my father...) tips and defeat bullies!


- Amelia

A late present to you, parents of the world!

13 things my mother taught me and 12 things Dad's enlightened me on.

1. My mother taught me to APPRECIATE a job well done:

2. My mother taught me RELIGION:

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL:

4. My mother taught me LOGIC:

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC:

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT:

7. My mother taught me IRONY:

8. My mother taught me about the science of DIFFUSION.

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM:

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA:

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER:

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY:

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE:

14. My father taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION:

 

 15. My father taught me about ENVY:

 

16. My father taught me about PATIENCE:

17. My father taught me about RECEIVING:

18. My father taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE:

19. My father taught me ESP:

20. My father taught me HUMOR:

21. My father taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT:

22. My father taught me GENETICS:
23. My father taught me about my ROOTS:

24. My father taught me WISDOM:

25. My father taught me about JUSTICE: