A late present to you, parents of the world!

13 things my mother taught me and 12 things Dad's enlightened me on.

1. My mother taught me to APPRECIATE a job well done:

2. My mother taught me RELIGION:

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL:

4. My mother taught me LOGIC:

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC:

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT:

7. My mother taught me IRONY:

8. My mother taught me about the science of DIFFUSION.

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM:

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA:

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER:

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY:

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE:

14. My father taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION:

 

 15. My father taught me about ENVY:

 

16. My father taught me about PATIENCE:

17. My father taught me about RECEIVING:

18. My father taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE:

19. My father taught me ESP:

20. My father taught me HUMOR:

21. My father taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT:

22. My father taught me GENETICS:
23. My father taught me about my ROOTS:

24. My father taught me WISDOM:

25. My father taught me about JUSTICE:

Amelia Rice's guide to being an everyday Amelia

Want to be like me and use my slang? Probably not... but hey, maybe your friends do! Send this post to them so they can use cool "Amelia Slang," too!



Here's some things you can use in place of cursing (The best part is, you're not cursing!):


Pic of Amelia saying, that son of a hypocrite!

Hypocrite. A fantastic word. Fun to say, and people will never catch on to your intentional meaning of it.


pic of amelia stubbing her toe
pic of amelia saying angrily, sh'moley

Sh'moley. You've seen this one pop up in posts! It's like holy moley, except it's just a little different...



We stumbled upon that one, just like the following mash-up slang:

pic of CC: Woah! Look at that meganormous dinosaur! it's come back to life!

Meganormous is a mix of ginormous and mega.

pic of RJ: I spink that we shall learn to speak Spanish this year! ¿Cómo se frijol cabrito? 


Spink is mash up of think in Spanish. "¿Cómo se frijol cabrito?" translates to "How ya' been, kid?"


pic of nicole looking at her nail and saying, "Oh no! This is a disastrophy! My nail broke!"


Disastrophy is a combo of catastrophe and, of course, disaster.

pic of Amy saying, "I think my brain is going to explodinate from all the information you just gave me!"

Explodonate is explosion detonate mixed together.

Pic of Jennifer sprinting in PE ahead of the others yelling, Hurry up, you spokes!

Spoke is a mash up of the compound word "slowpoke."



Here are miscellaneous Amelia slang things:

Pic of jane crossing her arms and looking stooty and saying, It's fair and circle!"

Fair and circle. Why not? A circle is fair, just like a square!

pic of Conner holing up four fingers on one hand

pic of Conner clawing the same four fingers.

Four finger air quote. You know, most people do two fingers on each hand, but this way, you only have to hold up one hand! Easy as pie!

Anyway, If you want more, leave a comment or contact me!

-Amelia

Jane

Today, June 9th, we got out of school.

I was so excited, but as the today approached, I became filled with dread.

You see, Jane's going to graduate this year, and we are a few grades below her. We will probably never see her again.

It's simply terrible.

I didn't even know Jane until this year when we were placed in the same PE class. Nicole introduced her to me after she found out that the three of us play flute.

That was a little sad, because I sat right next to her and didn't even talk to her until Nicole.

But over the days, I slowly grew closer to her, and now I consider her one of my closest friends.

This video is dedicated to the one year we knew her.

Good luck, big kid. Have fun. I hope I'll be able to see you again. :*)

Love,
Amelia and friends

Ew...

nellie is scratchin in buggy
let out
lifts her leg and pees on my dads bag
hes like OH NOOO! and picks her up
shes so wimpy she flops over and cant stop peeing and pees on my dads face and hes like NOOOOOOOOO! and waving his arms. we slept thru this.

(¯`v´¯)
.`·.¸.·´
¸.·´¸.·´¨) ¸.·*¨)
(¸.·´ (¸.·´

Indoor Exercising

Use Amelia's Exercise Plan* to become fit in weeks!

TO MUSIC, DO THE FOLLOWING ACTIONS.


switch leg jumps

pic of the beat boxing (least energy using) jump. pendulum jump thing where legs swing our

Do these for at least a minute, or in between other moves.

 jumps

pic of someone jumping feet2butt and they are happy!

Keep this up for about a minute. If you have bum knees, don't do this exercise.

butt kicks

pic of some one doing this.


Using alternate legs, hit your butt with your foot. Do this for a minute thirty.

run in place

pic of someone runnign

Do this for as long as possible. Run to the beat of the music! If you want, add short periods of sprints.


running around couch

pic of some one runnign around a couch. there are other identicle people runnign too (around the whole couch) , and they have only 75% opacity. don't forget motion lines.

Be careful not to slip! Tip: Don't wear socks. Continue for about 3 minutes.

pushups

pic of pushups

Do 20 push-ups. If that is too hard, do 10, run in place, then do 10 more.

situps

pic of someone gripping knees and sitting perpendicular to the floor, like they just rose from the floor.

Sit all the way up for your sit-ups. Do as many as possible. To the beat!

crunches

pic of someone with hands behind head with theyre head barely above floor.

Don't go up too small! And go fast! Do 50!

air speed bag

pic of spinny arm kick boxin thing wheere arms rotate around each other.

Spin each way for 1 minute. DO NOT STOP! Feel the burn!

Testimonies:

"By the time I was done with this work out, I was sweating and puffing and panting. I had to sit down! Everyone commented on how red I was. Like this:

pic of a red amelia doing the abouve

But I felt stronger already. I think if I continue to use this indoor program, I'll be super fit!" - Amelia Rice

"It made me tired" - Janet Rice

- Amelia

PS: I need to get in shape.

*This isn't a real exercise program. Participate at your own risk. Amelia Rice is not certified... in anything. Except CPR. Anyways, use caution when utilizing these movements.

So... Where should we hold Christmas this year?

We just went on a super-fun-fantastic vacation:

pic of people sitting on a beach sipping lemonade with lemon slices and straws on a beach towles. under an umbrella. and they are reclining. Words in the blue sky (with clouds and a sun) say, "In Hawaii!" the words are super fancy

In...

Colorado.

pic of less-impressed people on the beach surrounded by mountains and there is snow on them

the story of aunt sus and clay wondering where to hold vacation. "we dont wanna travel..." "oh, well hold it at ur house!" scilence. "we have no decor." "we don't need decor." grandpa: "we will bring some over!" scilence

My aunts, grandparents, uncles, and cousins came as well. It was for my great uncle's

pic of a super fancy "80th" like you made the bang on the hole in the wall post

birthday!

While relaxing on the "beach" by the lake, an interesting conversation popped up.

pic of grandpa (as he and everyone else is sitting on beach towels) saying, "So... where do you want to hold Christmas next year?"

The chat started out normally.

pic of aunt (chubbyish w/ curly red hair streaked w/ gray. shirt is green. words on shirt say, "World peace is cool!" she's wearing a straw sunhat w/ the straps that go under your head) saying, "I think we should keep it simple; we've traveled too much this year."

pic of grandpappy saing, "Oh, we'll hold it at your house then!"

pic of everyone sitting in scilence.everyone but the aunt and uncle are smiling. over exxagerate the frowns like Allie does. copy her face style.

pic of everyone frowning Allie-style

My aunt and uncle didn't like that idea, no sir-ee. She needed an excuse.

pic of her saying, "If we do that I'm worried that our precious nick-nacks and artifacts will be broken with all the people..." litteler text to the side, "*cough cough* the kids *cough*"

pic of grandpa saying, "Oh, the girls are bigger now! It'll be fine"everyone is Allie-smiling but the aunt and uncle

More silence. How was Auntie supposed to stop this madness? She tried another tactic:

pic of her frowning saying, "We don't have any decorations... Christmas wouldn't be fun with out them..."

pic of grand pa saying, "We don't need decorations." only aunt and uncle are frowinging. Everyone else is smiling like allie's expressions. Mom says, "We only need a tree and some lights. That's not too hard!"

pic of grandma piping up: "We'll bring some over!"

pic of everyone smiling except the aunt and uncle.

close up of aunt frowing

close up of uncle frownign

close up of g-ma smiling

close up of mom smiling

same close up of aunt frowing (but zoomed in a bit)

close up of g-pa smiling

close up of amelia smiling

close up of little sister smiling

closer-close up of uncle frowinging (same as 1st close up)

even closer close up of unhappy aunt (same close up zoomed in)

close up of smiling dad


follow that order, but zoom in all the smiling people. use the original close up pics

grandma closer up

mom closer up

aunt super close up

g-pa closer up

amelia

lil sis

closer-closer up of uncle

closest up of aunt

dad closer up

pic of both aunt and uncle frowning

pic of everyone sitting normal again. aunt and uncle frown but everyone else smiles.

That was enough. Auntie cracked under the pressure.

pic of her saying, "We really don't want to hold it at our house..."

Poor Aunt. We like to play with her mind sometimes.

- Amelia

Hay Par-tay!

The super fun hay time with "alex" and Addie (amanda)
throwing hay at eachother
it was in my pants and shirt and hair and mouth. Jane and everyone else started fussing lol
fussing is jane's word

So what do you think of this lady,

Collins horder rat lady tale hear.
like the simpsons cat lady

The Spider Story

I just had read spiders are scary, I couldn''t have agreed more with Allie.

I said I would be brave and kill every spider I saw so I went outside and murdered a bunch of bugs, spiders or not. (I thought I was so brave :) )

Anyway I get ready for bed and I am readin and see small spider, but I am home alone so spider looks meganormous in my mind so I forget all plans of murder and move to another room.

Spider follows me, I start freaking out and move again. Maybe house was full of spiders but now holed up in bathroom there are three spiders crawling out from the shower.

I start crying and go insane and jump up on sink. They block my path from the door, in my crazed mind I thouhgt they were taking revenge for their fallen spider friends.

I sit there for 30 minutes or so before cussing the spiders out and throwing everything i can reach at them.

Never have I killed a spider since.